No one wants to see it in your mouth as you parade around the house so proudly the way you do.

When company is over you don’t need to show it to them, “look what we have in our house,” you say as you prance from guest to guest head held high.

I’m mortified. Cliff laughs.

“That’s not a toy,” I say, dragging you by the end of the brush back into the bathroom where it belongs. You think I’m playing tug of war.

At least you grab it by the handle and not the brush itself.

You’re smart that way.

You’re a lab. A very smart dog.

You are proud of your house and your people.

You enjoy entertaining guests.

But the toilet brush is not the family treasure that needs showing.

And it’s not a toy.